Still controlling it vs. letting GO – what is the difference?
For the full recovery and to fully let go you need to know how you are still applying control (ED) and how it’s sabotaging your recovery process. You know your own ED and restrictive behaviors the best but below are some examples of a person who is still applying control vs. a person fully letting go and fully recovering.
Recovery is definitely not a straight line so please do not feel bad when you struggle with letting go, but just see the below example as a good thing to focus on and be aware of.
Still controlling it (ED):
- changing up your meals here and there but not consistently
- doing challenges here and there but not consistently
- increasing calories but freaking out when the body wants more and then holding back
- eating to get full but always afraid to eat “too much” trying to “get it perfect”
- having expectations for your eating (“I hope I don’t want more, I think this amount should be enough, If I increase I should not want more” – if not then freaking out)
- overthinking your food, meals, worrying about “getting it right”
- thinking about your last meal or next meal and letting it affect your present meal
- focusing on the weight, making food choices based on weight fears
- blaming the food and your body, not the restriction (ED)
- criticising yourself and focusing on the negative
- jumping into the unknown water but still having one leg on the safe shore
Fully letting go (recovery):
- accepting whatever your hunger is on any given day and going for it
- surrendering to your body’s cues and signals and following them – physical hunger, mental hunger, food thoughts, extreme hunger…
- choosing scary foods repeatedly until they lose power over you and then going for other scary stuff
- doing the exact opposite ED wants until it loses power over you
- knowing that you can NEVER “get it perfect” because normal eating is not perfect, normal eating can be different every day
- eating moment by moment, whatever you want, only present moment counts, not the next meal or tomorrow
- getting full and satisfied, however much it takes, choosing the best foods to take you to mental satisfaction
- focusing on what’s best for recovery, what best supports your body’s recovery process
- focusing getting rid of the restriction and trusting the body and hunger
- supporting yourself in this process with compassion and kindness
- trusting and having faith in this process and just riding the wave and trusting it’s going to be ok!
- jumping the unknown water fully and keep on swimming!